Hidden Youth's inner world- they need love and concern.
Heart-to-heart talk on the line
changed my life
Mary /female/19/ year2 university student
/Sha Tin
2013-12-9
I have been reluctant to admit myself is one of the hidden youth. I liked to be alone. At first, I went to school by myself, did homework by myself, read books by myself. There was nothing wrong with this way I was accustomed to. I think all these things I liked since I were introverted. But after a period of time, this way of lifestyle gradually broke off all my contact with the outside world, and I also felt more and more used to not contact with others. I even didn't want to go to school just because I was afraid that others would talk with me inadvertently. And for that time I thought this time might be a little sick, however, I didn't want to change it. I assumed myself live in my own small circle and not go toward walk outside.
Until one day, I answered a phone call from a strange girl Jacqueline. In fact, she is my classmate from the same department but I have not noticed her. She said she often saw me study and eat by myself and she felt maybe I need someone to accompany me. Her voice was very gentle and soft. At that time I feel the outside world was not so terrible as I used to imagine, and all of a sudden the phone call brought me a warm feeling that I have never felt. We talk on the phone for two hours on that day. I have to say I felt surprised to make such a long time phone call with others. We agreed to make phone call every week. Gradually, relying on this wire, she taught me how to face other people's eyes and how to communicate with peoples. I feel myself just like a child, slowly learning these skills following by my mother.
I later learned that she was one of the volunteer from Hidden Youth Association. The association’s work is to help our friends depending on phone calls started from side. And I have to admit that this weekly telephone infected me with the warm social environment. Only on this way could make a shy people open up her mind. Now, I have been walked out of my box. And I have trying to participate in school activities. Thanks Jacqueline. The world is so warm and fragrant when people have friends.
2013-12-9
I have been reluctant to admit myself is one of the hidden youth. I liked to be alone. At first, I went to school by myself, did homework by myself, read books by myself. There was nothing wrong with this way I was accustomed to. I think all these things I liked since I were introverted. But after a period of time, this way of lifestyle gradually broke off all my contact with the outside world, and I also felt more and more used to not contact with others. I even didn't want to go to school just because I was afraid that others would talk with me inadvertently. And for that time I thought this time might be a little sick, however, I didn't want to change it. I assumed myself live in my own small circle and not go toward walk outside.
Until one day, I answered a phone call from a strange girl Jacqueline. In fact, she is my classmate from the same department but I have not noticed her. She said she often saw me study and eat by myself and she felt maybe I need someone to accompany me. Her voice was very gentle and soft. At that time I feel the outside world was not so terrible as I used to imagine, and all of a sudden the phone call brought me a warm feeling that I have never felt. We talk on the phone for two hours on that day. I have to say I felt surprised to make such a long time phone call with others. We agreed to make phone call every week. Gradually, relying on this wire, she taught me how to face other people's eyes and how to communicate with peoples. I feel myself just like a child, slowly learning these skills following by my mother.
I later learned that she was one of the volunteer from Hidden Youth Association. The association’s work is to help our friends depending on phone calls started from side. And I have to admit that this weekly telephone infected me with the warm social environment. Only on this way could make a shy people open up her mind. Now, I have been walked out of my box. And I have trying to participate in school activities. Thanks Jacqueline. The world is so warm and fragrant when people have friends.
Open up my mind.
Helen/female/21/Kowloon Tong
I used to be a hidden youth, and that period of time was really tough for me, and I feel my life was gloomy thoroughly. I started to keep distance from strangers and friends even closest families, but I felt so lonely and helpless that it seems nobody know what I am really thought about and I was abandoned by the whole world, and I always hope that someone could realize me and save me from that depressed plight, give me courage and teach me how to be brave.
One day, my mom gave me one advertisement, which is for hidden youth to visit and do something for elders. At first, I was really reluctant to join the activity and thought it is a waste of time, but my mom insisted that I must join. At that time, I refused to communicate with others at first, the volunteer, Halen, introduced me to a gracious madam, Janet, she introduced herself to me, her voice was so soft and comfort, and then I introduced myself briefly. We just sat at the garden silently, I was still trapped in my gloomy emotion, and then Janet asked me if I could help her watering the plant, and then I started watering the plant in the garden, the flower is so beautiful and the it was a sunny day, I felt a little better, suddenly Janet talk to me, ”The flower is so beauty, right?” “yes” I still answered briefly. Then Janet told me that we can appreciate the beautiful of the flower, because they show our their most beautiful part---- heart and soul,“I have met several good girls just like you.” I realized that she avoided using “hidden youth” which I really dislike, for it is sound like it is our wrong and we choose to be like this. “Try to show people what you are thinking about, let others knows your beautiful soul, no one want to choose lonely, we are all here to help you, but first try to trust us.” I was so moved and saw her smile I thought I just found the people who know me, I was no longer the strange girl any more.
I choose try to open mind to my families, after went home, I told mom today’s experience, and she felt surprised that I told her my feelings. And we had a long chat about the life how tough to me on these days. Next day I try to greet to my old friends, they were all surprised. Now I am still practice opening my mind, and I am also a volunteer to help those who just like me before. I must express my thanks to the activity, Halen, Janet and families who always support me.
I used to be a hidden youth, and that period of time was really tough for me, and I feel my life was gloomy thoroughly. I started to keep distance from strangers and friends even closest families, but I felt so lonely and helpless that it seems nobody know what I am really thought about and I was abandoned by the whole world, and I always hope that someone could realize me and save me from that depressed plight, give me courage and teach me how to be brave.
One day, my mom gave me one advertisement, which is for hidden youth to visit and do something for elders. At first, I was really reluctant to join the activity and thought it is a waste of time, but my mom insisted that I must join. At that time, I refused to communicate with others at first, the volunteer, Halen, introduced me to a gracious madam, Janet, she introduced herself to me, her voice was so soft and comfort, and then I introduced myself briefly. We just sat at the garden silently, I was still trapped in my gloomy emotion, and then Janet asked me if I could help her watering the plant, and then I started watering the plant in the garden, the flower is so beautiful and the it was a sunny day, I felt a little better, suddenly Janet talk to me, ”The flower is so beauty, right?” “yes” I still answered briefly. Then Janet told me that we can appreciate the beautiful of the flower, because they show our their most beautiful part---- heart and soul,“I have met several good girls just like you.” I realized that she avoided using “hidden youth” which I really dislike, for it is sound like it is our wrong and we choose to be like this. “Try to show people what you are thinking about, let others knows your beautiful soul, no one want to choose lonely, we are all here to help you, but first try to trust us.” I was so moved and saw her smile I thought I just found the people who know me, I was no longer the strange girl any more.
I choose try to open mind to my families, after went home, I told mom today’s experience, and she felt surprised that I told her my feelings. And we had a long chat about the life how tough to me on these days. Next day I try to greet to my old friends, they were all surprised. Now I am still practice opening my mind, and I am also a volunteer to help those who just like me before. I must express my thanks to the activity, Halen, Janet and families who always support me.
Talks for family members.
Vincent/male/Tsim Sha Tsui
Today, according the schedule of the activity, I took part in Talks for Family Members, of course, with my mom. Actually it is the first time for me to join an activity with my mom in recent years, I just want to finish this talk as soon as possible and then to play my games. To be honest, I wouldn't like to waste my time besides playing games.
Finally we got the center, but there is no host but a guide lead us to a small room, then she told me she would leave us in this room and we could have a deep conversation. Apparently I just wanted to leave but I found that my mother is not very happy.
After the guide’s leaving, my mom started to sob, although I saw this situation several times, I still feel uncomfortable, which made me keep in my seat. “You should have a very bright future, why do you choose to give up yourself?” her sobbing then turned to crying. Yes, why I choose to give up myself, “I don't like this real life, I cannot do anything satisfied. But in the virtual world, I can easily win the champion, I can have my girlfriend, I can be the hero and do whatever I want…” “But we all live real life,” she interrupted me, “there must be some day, you dad and me will leave this world, you will find you have no money, no food, you need to make a living yourself, you are an adult instead of a child!” she just cannot stop crying.
This is absolutely right, game cannot bring me food and future, I am a loser now but it doesn't mean I will always be a loser, my mom devoted her whole life to give me a good living environment, what I should do is not being addicted to the computer games. I know I used to have many dreams, basketball player, lawyer or a businessman, my life is not just computer games, and I deserve to own more.
Just at that second, I determined to fresh myself. I would not let my mom cry, one day I will get some achievements, I can have a more beautiful future.
Sorry, mom and thanks for Talks for family members.
Today, according the schedule of the activity, I took part in Talks for Family Members, of course, with my mom. Actually it is the first time for me to join an activity with my mom in recent years, I just want to finish this talk as soon as possible and then to play my games. To be honest, I wouldn't like to waste my time besides playing games.
Finally we got the center, but there is no host but a guide lead us to a small room, then she told me she would leave us in this room and we could have a deep conversation. Apparently I just wanted to leave but I found that my mother is not very happy.
After the guide’s leaving, my mom started to sob, although I saw this situation several times, I still feel uncomfortable, which made me keep in my seat. “You should have a very bright future, why do you choose to give up yourself?” her sobbing then turned to crying. Yes, why I choose to give up myself, “I don't like this real life, I cannot do anything satisfied. But in the virtual world, I can easily win the champion, I can have my girlfriend, I can be the hero and do whatever I want…” “But we all live real life,” she interrupted me, “there must be some day, you dad and me will leave this world, you will find you have no money, no food, you need to make a living yourself, you are an adult instead of a child!” she just cannot stop crying.
This is absolutely right, game cannot bring me food and future, I am a loser now but it doesn't mean I will always be a loser, my mom devoted her whole life to give me a good living environment, what I should do is not being addicted to the computer games. I know I used to have many dreams, basketball player, lawyer or a businessman, my life is not just computer games, and I deserve to own more.
Just at that second, I determined to fresh myself. I would not let my mom cry, one day I will get some achievements, I can have a more beautiful future.
Sorry, mom and thanks for Talks for family members.
Parents should always be positive.
Do social activities with my son.
Alin/mother/50/Tai Wai
2013-12-23
My son is one of the hidden youth patients. I remembered he start to play computer games when he was very young. After entering college, living in school made him become addicted to computer games. Last year when he graduated, he didn't get any company offers. I could see that he was frustrated and he didn't think himself has social using value any more. And he stayed at home after graduation, continuing to play the game. No matter how many times I told him about the reason why he didn’t happy due to his addiction of computer games, but he did not aware of my words.
A few days ago, Hidden Youth Association offered programs and activities in our community. They aimed to help hidden youth to find jobs. And I immediately signed up for my son.
On that activity, Hidden Youth Association organized us to teach old people in community use the computer. Teach them how to use basic editing manuscripts and the skills of searching on the Internet, mapping tools. My son and I went to an old couple's house. At first, my son had a low enthusiasm towards teaching. I think maybe since he used to be alone and not so good at talking to people. So I helped him to communicate with the old people, and let him do technology demonstration. Gradually, my son began to directly communicate with the old man without my help. I found that even though he was timid as he communicated with people, he is very patient on this process.
After that, we continued to teach this old couple for another 4times, and last 2 times were handled by my son independently. I think, in the process, my son has found his insight his own social value and he was no longer afraid of contacting with people. Now, He is working in the nursing home as a teacher. He likes this job and this work without social pressure makes him relaxed and happy. Definitely, He kicked the habit of playing the computer games. I feel very gratified.
2013-12-23
My son is one of the hidden youth patients. I remembered he start to play computer games when he was very young. After entering college, living in school made him become addicted to computer games. Last year when he graduated, he didn't get any company offers. I could see that he was frustrated and he didn't think himself has social using value any more. And he stayed at home after graduation, continuing to play the game. No matter how many times I told him about the reason why he didn’t happy due to his addiction of computer games, but he did not aware of my words.
A few days ago, Hidden Youth Association offered programs and activities in our community. They aimed to help hidden youth to find jobs. And I immediately signed up for my son.
On that activity, Hidden Youth Association organized us to teach old people in community use the computer. Teach them how to use basic editing manuscripts and the skills of searching on the Internet, mapping tools. My son and I went to an old couple's house. At first, my son had a low enthusiasm towards teaching. I think maybe since he used to be alone and not so good at talking to people. So I helped him to communicate with the old people, and let him do technology demonstration. Gradually, my son began to directly communicate with the old man without my help. I found that even though he was timid as he communicated with people, he is very patient on this process.
After that, we continued to teach this old couple for another 4times, and last 2 times were handled by my son independently. I think, in the process, my son has found his insight his own social value and he was no longer afraid of contacting with people. Now, He is working in the nursing home as a teacher. He likes this job and this work without social pressure makes him relaxed and happy. Definitely, He kicked the habit of playing the computer games. I feel very gratified.
picture sources: http://www.china.org.cn/china/2014-01/20/content_31242851_5.htm
A letter to my daughter
Rose/mother/53/Tai Po
2014-3-3
Dear daughter, the reason why today I start to write this letter to you is I really have a lot of words want to say.
At first, I apologize to my impatience for my misunderstanding for hearing fact that you had the hidden initial habit. And because of the rough situation at that time of my work, I did not care about you. I feel so sorry for not providing you the care and love at that moment as your mother.
Now I want to say, each children would experience a rebellious period while they grow up to become mature man or woman. At this rebellious period, they may do not like to speak to anyone. From my view I think it is a rare process, because I always saw this story as one of transformation from the inside out. And I was always so terrified that I wouldn't get enough time to give you that growth. Indeed, I have experienced this too, and I also see friends experienced more or less. So I fully understand you.
For now I want to tell you that the hidden habit is not an illness, please start from your own to face this phenomenon. Please don't think it is incurable.
On the other hand, you should not let it go at the same time but to face it in an actively way and try to change it. There is no one is born autistic, and no one could master the skills of contacting with others. You are still the particular girl- good grades, pleasant personality, in my eyes. Social pressure still exists, but it is necessary for you to learn to give yourself a proper space relaxing and correcting yourself. Knowing how to adjust their body and mind to happy life is a better way to live happily.
2014-3-3
Dear daughter, the reason why today I start to write this letter to you is I really have a lot of words want to say.
At first, I apologize to my impatience for my misunderstanding for hearing fact that you had the hidden initial habit. And because of the rough situation at that time of my work, I did not care about you. I feel so sorry for not providing you the care and love at that moment as your mother.
Now I want to say, each children would experience a rebellious period while they grow up to become mature man or woman. At this rebellious period, they may do not like to speak to anyone. From my view I think it is a rare process, because I always saw this story as one of transformation from the inside out. And I was always so terrified that I wouldn't get enough time to give you that growth. Indeed, I have experienced this too, and I also see friends experienced more or less. So I fully understand you.
For now I want to tell you that the hidden habit is not an illness, please start from your own to face this phenomenon. Please don't think it is incurable.
On the other hand, you should not let it go at the same time but to face it in an actively way and try to change it. There is no one is born autistic, and no one could master the skills of contacting with others. You are still the particular girl- good grades, pleasant personality, in my eyes. Social pressure still exists, but it is necessary for you to learn to give yourself a proper space relaxing and correcting yourself. Knowing how to adjust their body and mind to happy life is a better way to live happily.
Every Volunteer devotes their effort without expectation.
team-building & teach them learn to cooperate with others.
Joy/25/Mong kok
After we implement a period of our investigation towards the hidden youth, we have found that a lot of hidden youth are very lack of the sense of teamwork. But the ability in team cooperation is necessary factor. In order to precipitate them access into the society more quickly, we specially set up the team projects for them to exercise their ability.
Today’s project is to make the hidden youth free to recruit a form to complete the task. In the process of completing the commission, people need to work together in a group to solve a problem. This task can break down their comfort zone, build up self-understanding and learn to be independent.
We observed that many hidden youth is no lack of social knowledge and the ability of understanding the rules and topics. The only problem is that they did not dare to express their feelings before in front of others. And on the other hand, they lack the ability to communicate with people. But in our activities, they all got into exercises. Many of them became more confident and make efforts to join in one group to achieve the same purpose.
After score great successes in this activity, we decided to continue conducting this activity. We have also seen the actively participation between hidden youth, youth parents and volunteers. Their support gave us great encouragement.
After we implement a period of our investigation towards the hidden youth, we have found that a lot of hidden youth are very lack of the sense of teamwork. But the ability in team cooperation is necessary factor. In order to precipitate them access into the society more quickly, we specially set up the team projects for them to exercise their ability.
Today’s project is to make the hidden youth free to recruit a form to complete the task. In the process of completing the commission, people need to work together in a group to solve a problem. This task can break down their comfort zone, build up self-understanding and learn to be independent.
We observed that many hidden youth is no lack of social knowledge and the ability of understanding the rules and topics. The only problem is that they did not dare to express their feelings before in front of others. And on the other hand, they lack the ability to communicate with people. But in our activities, they all got into exercises. Many of them became more confident and make efforts to join in one group to achieve the same purpose.
After score great successes in this activity, we decided to continue conducting this activity. We have also seen the actively participation between hidden youth, youth parents and volunteers. Their support gave us great encouragement.
Contact us – Hong Kong Hidden Youth Association
Enquiry: (852) 2123-4567 Fax: (852) 2123-7890 E-mail: [email protected]